I have something horribly bothering me lately. But I can't be 100% sure where to start. I mean I do know where to start, but can I do it without making a fool out of myself? Can I do it without losing any friends in the process? Can I do it without hurting those closest to me? Who is left anyway...
This past week has been a roller coaster. From emotions (and a blog post I never did end up posting, it's still in my drafts on Blogger) to my whole life trying to come full circle. In the past 8 days I have gone from being depressed and feeling that I at least belonged somewhere and with someone, to being madly... well just mad... not like angry mad, but lost my mind mad... like Mad Hatter mad. I literally lost my whole goal in life, or maybe it wasn't my goal but rather my logical direction. Yeah... logical direction......
Well that sounded good when I typed it anyway. So here it is, 20 minutes til noon as I type this, and think about what I typed on my Facebook wall. I think back to the days of Open Diary, LiveJournal, and MySpace blog posts, and think about what I used to talk about, as I shouted into the ether of the internet, in hopes that someone would listen, and someone would actually have some good advice for me, or maybe, just maybe, the one person I mentioned or eluded to in my blog post, would actually read it and contact me saying "hey, I read your post..." Well it rarely ever happens that way... But I'm gonna do it anyway.
Last week or maybe 2 weeks ago now, I started getting the itch to go out to the clubs again. Maybe it was me listening to music from my past. Maybe it wasn't. Who knows. I just know that I had this real hardcore desire to go to a nightclub, take off my shirt, and "Dance in the Dark". For hours... maybe have a drink or 2. Jump into a giant ball of foam. I don't know, just something to relive the thumping, vibrating, pulsing heartbeat that is the dance club scene.
When I was 16 I met people online mostly, because none of my friends in school could relate to me being gay. I met these guys, roommates, Tony and Mike. They ended up taking me to the Interbelt Nite Club in Akron, Ohio. Yeah, fun times there... I really had a blast the few times I went. And eventually, upon my 18th birthday in 2004, that became one of my primary hangouts. I even had 2 or 3 years of VIP membership. Yep, pays to know the right people (and date a stripper).
So that covers my love for the clubs, and why I started wanting to go back. Sort of. Last week I also found myself on the Interbelt's website, and dug through photo archives, and found a bunch of photos of me and my ex, Anthony, when we would go out for special parties at the Interbelt. White party, Mardi Gras. It was all coming back to me, with more and more force. That thumping of the wall of speakers, where I'd dance right up near them, I could feel it in my bones. I wanted so badly to just go back. In addition, my friend Daniel, whom I hadn't talked to in 4 years, reappeared out of nowhere. He had sent me a message online, asking how I was. I became rather excited to catch back up with him. When I was 16, I lost my virginity to his boyfriend at the time, Rick, with Daniel right there. (I don't want to hear a single person critique that! I was a 16 year old, I needed to make my sexual expression!) So we had really lost touch, largely due to their relationship, and living in the greater Akron area, whereas I was 40 minutes or so away in Youngstown. I noticed in the Interbelt photo archive hunt that there were a few nights we were there at the same time. Ah, memories...
Well as I continued my ongoing week of reliving old memories, I found images on the Interbelt website from December 23, 2006. On that night, I was with Anthony and Bryan. I eventually ended up dating Bryan briefly, even after we had first met in the same time period in 2004 and nearly dated back then. It was then that I decided to check on Facebook for Bryan, and found him, and decided to add him. A matter of only a few days later, Bryan called me from Arizona, to say hello, and catch up after 4 years of losing contact. We spent 2 and a half hours on the phone one night, and 2 and a half hours again 2 nights later. It was great to reconnect and see where each other is and how we're doing.
But that wasn't all. A couple months ago, my ex John let me know that he found old pictures in his email from my senior prom. Senior prom in 2004 was so important for me. At the time, I was seeing an amazing guy, named Adam, and we shared some good times together. He was 20, I was 17, and looking back at that time of my life, I barely remember most of my day-to-day activities. I know that when I finally decided I was taking Adam to prom, it was the most important night of my high school career, and probably my life up to that point. My high school wasn't exactly a forward-thinking school, and since prom tickets were distributed as per-couple, it was $55 a couple. My best friend at the time, Angel, and her younger sister, both wanted to go to prom, so we decided (since it was Junior-Senior only with a date of any class level) that Angel would take Adam, and I would take her sister. After our entry through the door, and taking the Breathalyzer (yeah, they were that strict that year), we swapped dates, and entered the beauty of Shanghai Nights. I believe there were 400 students in attendance that night, but I could never be sure. The looks were rather irritating, but we still had fun. As that night keeps coming back to me slowly, I remember the fact that even my grandmother supported me taking Adam. She even let him spend the night that night, and let him have my father's bedroom. That night was such a wonderful night, the dancing, the food, the friends, just us, together, at prom. The photos that I took were few, but were still great to have. We looked so amazing that night, and ended it all with an amazing chance to sit and talk. That night, almost regrettably now, he and I got caught in the moment, and it ended up being a special night for us, especially for him. So special, he freaked out and left the next morning, and we ended up in a dissolved relationship. Did I push too hard?
Well, today, out of complete irony, I noticed that Adam had posted on his Facebook that he got a snow day off school for the ice. I figured I'd send him an IM and ask how he's loving the weather. We chatted for a while, and touched on all the subjects that I really shouldn't have brought up. It's been 6 years, it's all over, what closure was to be made? Well, he said he admits we did have good times together. He admitted that he freaked out because he was a virgin up til my prom. He helped me really put the cork in the bottle and close that chapter of my life.
But.... part of me really wishes that part of my life never closed. He's moved on, as he should have, and so should I. As he said earlier, don't regret anything from your past, it just ends up being a waste of time. And yeah, it definitely would become a waste of time to mull over regrets. But I was only 17, I can't really regret anything, we all make mistakes, we all learn from them. It's just one of those things... You accept and move on.
But moving on, it's really hard to do. As I look back, I never appropriately did that. John, Anthony, Steve, Bryan, and then to Michael, yeah that was a mess... a whole ton of codependency, a lot of crazy... Nothing good was going on in my head during any of those times. My own mental health has been a roller coaster over the many years. But one thing I learned in the middle of visiting a counselor for my codependency, was that I need to stop worrying about how I can make others' lives better, but think about myself. Most would consider that selfish, I consider it now as essential to making a happier and healthier life.
What does all this typing do to help me though? Well, sure, I shout into the ether of the internet, and it mostly gets swallowed up by other things, like the political crisis in Egypt, or the massive winter storm rolling across the country right now. But at least I get everything off my chest, and can absorb comments from others. I'll even cross-post this to Facebook (maybe) to see what I can have come from it all. Maybe someone knows something that can help me make sense, because today I did decide to make a series of wall posts after talking to Adam. Here they are, as my closing for this post.
What a crazy past I've had. Spent the last few hours regaling old tales from back in the day... Wow, there are times I really do miss things, places, and people. Has my life really come to this point? Where I miss things from the past? Where I want so badly to be that 16 or 17 year old Matthew, living in Boardman with Grandma, not a bit of responsibility? Why is my life coming to this? I know they say it's not healthy to want the past back. It's regression. It's undoing many important things that have been learned over the years. It's regrets that should never be regretted. You can't get certain experiences to be relived, but I want to so badly. Is it Michael? Or Anthony? Or John? Or Larry? Or is it just Dad. I miss you, daddy. Gonna be 12 years this year. Some days I want you back here... I know in my heart, it's not just Dad. He comes up now and then, and High School would never have been the same if he were alive. But I know who it is. I know where HE is. But when the times have come to me being lost in where I am, and who I am, I have no one to turn to. I barely know HIM. I need to give HIM up. HE's like a drug. But WHY?! Is it that old high school infatuation and obsession coming back? There's a few people who've been in HIS place, they're friends of mine on FB. They know, they've seen. I feel bad for what I did to them. I'll get thru this. I always do. But will the me of the past come back? Where did Matthew go? When he wanted badly to go by Danny? The fun, extroverted, social butterfly, absolutely spontaneous, crazy Matthew, who disappeared 5, maybe 6 years ago. He's been gone, and wants back. Did that Matthew, or Danny, go help the Hurricane Katrina victims and never come back? Sometimes I wonder if maybe that's what happened. I want to steal back my childhood, teenhood, and early 20's. But where do I steal it back from? The cigarettes? The kids from High School? My mother? The Ohio drag community? The night club owners? The bartenders? Who stole ME from me? And why? Let ME come back... I should at least thank Adam Payne for the chat earlier. Brings a little closure to at least one chapter of my storied history, albeit 6 years ago. Please don't be a stranger. You're my last connection to that part of my past.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Transit in the Pittsburgh Metro Area
It's 1-11-2011. Today, I feel like elaborating a bit on an issue/discussion that started on Twitter between @TransitGuru, @bus15237 and myself.
Port Authority has had a rough year, having a major 50+ million dollar deficit in funding for this fiscal year. In the fall they began threatening to cut 35% of their routes, which included the 55 (runs through Glassport, where I live), along with the 25 (which goes to Robert Morris University, where I briefly attended classes, and where my partner Michael has worked for 2 years now).
Previously cuts to public transit hasn't had an effect on me, I grew up in Youngstown, Ohio where the WRTA bus was not something ANYONE would ride, partly due to limited service, partly due to safety concerns. Michael, however, grew up in Columbus, Ohio, where the COTA system is (in his opinion) very efficient. I know nothing of the COTA system other than what he has said. Regardless, at 18 I had my first car, by 19 I had wrecked it, had another one, then bought a 2002 Pontiac Grand Am in Jan of 2007. I moved to New Philadelphia, Ohio, where Michael lived when we got together, where public transit is unheard of. Michael at the time was under a 7 year suspension of his driving privileges, and I drove everywhere.
On Friday, July 13, 2007 he fell down the stairs at our apartment, and his right wrist was lacerated to the bone, tendons, arteries, nerves, all severed. He was life-flighted to Akron, $30,000+, 6 hour surgery later and things were reattached, but there was no promise he'd ever get feeling back in his hand. At the time he was a press operator for nearly 3 years at Robin Industries in the middle of Amish country. He loved his job, he was good at his job, and he made good money, 5-600 a week. That accident took a lot away from him, and as a consequence, me as well. Slowly we couldn't afford our living situation, had my ex move in with us, then Michael's mother, who subsequently passed on January 31, 2008. Michael was devastated, as was I. While we tried to pick up the pieces during all of this, our economy collapsed. Tuscarawas County in Ohio had nothing in the line of jobs. The time came where we stared at an eviction notice.
Were it not for my friend of 6 years, someone who is like a father to me, Keith, we would have had a bad situation, neither of us with a home to go to, possibly turning to family for a place to stay. Keith owned a piece of property, half of a duplex in the Boro of Glassport, 30 minutes southeast of Pittsburgh. That property had over $20,000 in back-due taxes from the prior owners never paying it after their family member they inherited it from, had passed on. Keith paid $1000 for it. We paid the same, though not all to Keith. The additional $1000 came in a ton of renovations Michael and his brother put into the place prior to, and after Michael and I moved in, calling this very structure our home. The beginning of a new life for us. No rent, just payments on back-due taxes, and the regular utility bills.
As we prepared to sign the deed, I was involved in an accident outside Columbus, after visiting Michael's family. My Grand Am was totaled. My grandmother, God bless her to this day, wrote a $5000 check off her credit card to buy a 2002 Saturn SC2 so that I had a car when we moved. That car continued a long tradition that I've always had a car since leaving my grandmother's in 2007.
After our move-in on June 1st, 2008, I worked briefly at the local pizza shop delivering pizzas, one of my favorite job positions, and the best one for me. Come August 1st, Michael got a proposition online from Integrative Staffing in Moon Township, by the airport, an hour drive away, to work at Premier Pan in Glenwillard (nearby). I agreed I'd take him to work, as I always had done when he worked at Robin. A matter of days later, I was contacted by TechUSA for a project involving the Pittsburgh Public Schools installing new computers. The times worked perfect, Michael worked at 6am, I worked at 8-8:30am. That lasted til September 26th, 2008 when my project was complete, and the next day Michael was let go from Premier Pan. He couldn't keep up the pace due to his wrist injury.
October of that year the stock market took a nose-dive, but luckily Michael was propositioned from the temp agency to work at Robert Morris University as a dishwasher/dining room attendant in the cafe. That job he has worked extremely hard at, and managed to be hired in fully by March 2009, and subsequently had his hours increased to nearly 65 hours most weeks. His shift was typically 4p-close, which was 12:30am or so. I had no problem taking him to work, and eventually during a snow storm, his boss asked me to stay after it took me nearly 3 hours to get him to work. From that point forward I was entitled to a sandwich and drink while I sat in the cafe and occupied myself on my laptop while Michael worked. There were no issues, he got to work, we saved over 60 miles worth of gas each day that I would have otherwise burnt off.
Enter 2010. I was registered as a student for spring semester at Robert Morris, and began classes. The snow storm snowed us in up at RMU, even, but Michael volunteered as the only one to work cashier that day, from 10am to 9pm in the cafeteria. He's devoted to his job, he LOVES his job. In March, my car suffered a horribly catastrophic death, the piston rod blew through the cylinder wall. We were officially screwed, confined to public transit. We began learning the routes, finding how long it would take, etc.
I dropped out of classes mid-semester, as it was too expensive (at 2.00 for Zone 1, 2.75 for Zone 2) to afford the both of us going out to Robert Morris. Summer hit, and his hours were 11am-6pm. Perfect for taking the bus both out and back. As the new school year approached, he wasn't as lucky. Back to the 4p-close shift, and the last bus out at the time was 9:00 or so. Finally, in September, the Port Authority changed routes, and the 25A became the 25, which only ran Mon-Fri until 7:30pm or so, and Saturdays only runs every 2 hours. Sundays, it would no longer run. Michael said he'd be okay, but I had to watch as he would go to work, then when he got off, walked nearly an hour to Sheetz on University Blvd., and waited out there until the G3's first inbound run at 5:03am. He'd be home around 7:30am every weekday morning. G3 doesn't run Saturdays, so he began either walking to Robinson, or Coraopolis, to catch a bus in either community. Sundays, he'd walk from Coraopolis to get to work, but was able to get a G3 on Monday morning after work.
Looking at all this, it's a tough spot. We get suggestions over and over to move closer to RMU. Not an option, the cost of living is far too expensive here to live in an apartment, not to mention our 2 chihuahuas, and our roommate/best friend. So the next, more logical option is to get a car. In Pennsylvania there is state-wide safety inspection, and county-wide emissions inspection. That cost, on top of cost for plates, and possibly required maintenance in order to pass the inspections, create a huge barrier for entry for anyone to own a car here. In addition, there's difference in car insurance, I'm insured by Nationwide in Youngstown, they don't cover Allegheny County, and I would lose a lot of my discounts (mult-car household, long-term customer from my grandmother, home-owners insurance bundled discount) and in PA there's a funeral provision that is required on policy holders, in addition to the change in garage address having a different rate based on local crime rates. My hometown of Boardman was cheaper than even New Philadelphia, which was virtually crime-free, something that amazed me.
So, what do we do? Continue using buses for now, begging and offering gas money for others to pick Michael up from work at night. But what about this funding crisis?
Port Authority received $45 million from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania to assist in the funding crisis, delaying the change in routes. The fares increased at the beginning of the year. The $6.25 to Robert Morris has gone up to around $7.50 now, or somewhere around there. Passes, while they do pay off quickly, are expensive. Especially compared to a car, and carpooling just negates the entire "benefit" of the passes. If 2 people are going to the same place, or nearby (like the job opportunities I've had to ignore up in Robinson because I don't have money to get there), it's far cheaper for them to ride together in a car, than to both pay separate fares on the bus.
Then there's the route changes. 15% service cuts expected in March, even after the $45 million bailout. Lovely, 55 and 25 are on the outskirts, so they will most likely be first on the list. While the 55 isn't of a ton of concern, as Michael and I have gotten accustomed to walking the 30 minutes to the bus stop for the 56, the 25 is essential to his route to work.
What are we to do? Complaints and filing official statements, like we did previously in the fall when Port Authority had a comment period, don't make any promises, and certainly can't stop the plans. One bus route for maybe 2 complaints won't make a difference to the Port Authority board and planners, who probably have never ridden a bus in their lives.
I haven't got much in closing, or even much summarizing I can do, other than saying that on Twitter, TransitGuru and I did go back and forth about funding, and the idea brought forth from TransitGuru of a vehicle mileage tax, whereby every year, as the example provided by bus15237, you pay $1 for every 1,000 miles traveled. That's around $20-30 for me, I easily put that many miles on my car. But that gives me more reason to keep my Ohio plates/license, instead of paying outrageous amounts for the "luxury" of having a personal vehicle. I'm sorry I want to be able to go wherever I want, whenever I want.
Port Authority has had a rough year, having a major 50+ million dollar deficit in funding for this fiscal year. In the fall they began threatening to cut 35% of their routes, which included the 55 (runs through Glassport, where I live), along with the 25 (which goes to Robert Morris University, where I briefly attended classes, and where my partner Michael has worked for 2 years now).
Previously cuts to public transit hasn't had an effect on me, I grew up in Youngstown, Ohio where the WRTA bus was not something ANYONE would ride, partly due to limited service, partly due to safety concerns. Michael, however, grew up in Columbus, Ohio, where the COTA system is (in his opinion) very efficient. I know nothing of the COTA system other than what he has said. Regardless, at 18 I had my first car, by 19 I had wrecked it, had another one, then bought a 2002 Pontiac Grand Am in Jan of 2007. I moved to New Philadelphia, Ohio, where Michael lived when we got together, where public transit is unheard of. Michael at the time was under a 7 year suspension of his driving privileges, and I drove everywhere.
On Friday, July 13, 2007 he fell down the stairs at our apartment, and his right wrist was lacerated to the bone, tendons, arteries, nerves, all severed. He was life-flighted to Akron, $30,000+, 6 hour surgery later and things were reattached, but there was no promise he'd ever get feeling back in his hand. At the time he was a press operator for nearly 3 years at Robin Industries in the middle of Amish country. He loved his job, he was good at his job, and he made good money, 5-600 a week. That accident took a lot away from him, and as a consequence, me as well. Slowly we couldn't afford our living situation, had my ex move in with us, then Michael's mother, who subsequently passed on January 31, 2008. Michael was devastated, as was I. While we tried to pick up the pieces during all of this, our economy collapsed. Tuscarawas County in Ohio had nothing in the line of jobs. The time came where we stared at an eviction notice.
Were it not for my friend of 6 years, someone who is like a father to me, Keith, we would have had a bad situation, neither of us with a home to go to, possibly turning to family for a place to stay. Keith owned a piece of property, half of a duplex in the Boro of Glassport, 30 minutes southeast of Pittsburgh. That property had over $20,000 in back-due taxes from the prior owners never paying it after their family member they inherited it from, had passed on. Keith paid $1000 for it. We paid the same, though not all to Keith. The additional $1000 came in a ton of renovations Michael and his brother put into the place prior to, and after Michael and I moved in, calling this very structure our home. The beginning of a new life for us. No rent, just payments on back-due taxes, and the regular utility bills.
As we prepared to sign the deed, I was involved in an accident outside Columbus, after visiting Michael's family. My Grand Am was totaled. My grandmother, God bless her to this day, wrote a $5000 check off her credit card to buy a 2002 Saturn SC2 so that I had a car when we moved. That car continued a long tradition that I've always had a car since leaving my grandmother's in 2007.
After our move-in on June 1st, 2008, I worked briefly at the local pizza shop delivering pizzas, one of my favorite job positions, and the best one for me. Come August 1st, Michael got a proposition online from Integrative Staffing in Moon Township, by the airport, an hour drive away, to work at Premier Pan in Glenwillard (nearby). I agreed I'd take him to work, as I always had done when he worked at Robin. A matter of days later, I was contacted by TechUSA for a project involving the Pittsburgh Public Schools installing new computers. The times worked perfect, Michael worked at 6am, I worked at 8-8:30am. That lasted til September 26th, 2008 when my project was complete, and the next day Michael was let go from Premier Pan. He couldn't keep up the pace due to his wrist injury.
October of that year the stock market took a nose-dive, but luckily Michael was propositioned from the temp agency to work at Robert Morris University as a dishwasher/dining room attendant in the cafe. That job he has worked extremely hard at, and managed to be hired in fully by March 2009, and subsequently had his hours increased to nearly 65 hours most weeks. His shift was typically 4p-close, which was 12:30am or so. I had no problem taking him to work, and eventually during a snow storm, his boss asked me to stay after it took me nearly 3 hours to get him to work. From that point forward I was entitled to a sandwich and drink while I sat in the cafe and occupied myself on my laptop while Michael worked. There were no issues, he got to work, we saved over 60 miles worth of gas each day that I would have otherwise burnt off.
Enter 2010. I was registered as a student for spring semester at Robert Morris, and began classes. The snow storm snowed us in up at RMU, even, but Michael volunteered as the only one to work cashier that day, from 10am to 9pm in the cafeteria. He's devoted to his job, he LOVES his job. In March, my car suffered a horribly catastrophic death, the piston rod blew through the cylinder wall. We were officially screwed, confined to public transit. We began learning the routes, finding how long it would take, etc.
I dropped out of classes mid-semester, as it was too expensive (at 2.00 for Zone 1, 2.75 for Zone 2) to afford the both of us going out to Robert Morris. Summer hit, and his hours were 11am-6pm. Perfect for taking the bus both out and back. As the new school year approached, he wasn't as lucky. Back to the 4p-close shift, and the last bus out at the time was 9:00 or so. Finally, in September, the Port Authority changed routes, and the 25A became the 25, which only ran Mon-Fri until 7:30pm or so, and Saturdays only runs every 2 hours. Sundays, it would no longer run. Michael said he'd be okay, but I had to watch as he would go to work, then when he got off, walked nearly an hour to Sheetz on University Blvd., and waited out there until the G3's first inbound run at 5:03am. He'd be home around 7:30am every weekday morning. G3 doesn't run Saturdays, so he began either walking to Robinson, or Coraopolis, to catch a bus in either community. Sundays, he'd walk from Coraopolis to get to work, but was able to get a G3 on Monday morning after work.
Looking at all this, it's a tough spot. We get suggestions over and over to move closer to RMU. Not an option, the cost of living is far too expensive here to live in an apartment, not to mention our 2 chihuahuas, and our roommate/best friend. So the next, more logical option is to get a car. In Pennsylvania there is state-wide safety inspection, and county-wide emissions inspection. That cost, on top of cost for plates, and possibly required maintenance in order to pass the inspections, create a huge barrier for entry for anyone to own a car here. In addition, there's difference in car insurance, I'm insured by Nationwide in Youngstown, they don't cover Allegheny County, and I would lose a lot of my discounts (mult-car household, long-term customer from my grandmother, home-owners insurance bundled discount) and in PA there's a funeral provision that is required on policy holders, in addition to the change in garage address having a different rate based on local crime rates. My hometown of Boardman was cheaper than even New Philadelphia, which was virtually crime-free, something that amazed me.
So, what do we do? Continue using buses for now, begging and offering gas money for others to pick Michael up from work at night. But what about this funding crisis?
Port Authority received $45 million from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania to assist in the funding crisis, delaying the change in routes. The fares increased at the beginning of the year. The $6.25 to Robert Morris has gone up to around $7.50 now, or somewhere around there. Passes, while they do pay off quickly, are expensive. Especially compared to a car, and carpooling just negates the entire "benefit" of the passes. If 2 people are going to the same place, or nearby (like the job opportunities I've had to ignore up in Robinson because I don't have money to get there), it's far cheaper for them to ride together in a car, than to both pay separate fares on the bus.
Then there's the route changes. 15% service cuts expected in March, even after the $45 million bailout. Lovely, 55 and 25 are on the outskirts, so they will most likely be first on the list. While the 55 isn't of a ton of concern, as Michael and I have gotten accustomed to walking the 30 minutes to the bus stop for the 56, the 25 is essential to his route to work.
What are we to do? Complaints and filing official statements, like we did previously in the fall when Port Authority had a comment period, don't make any promises, and certainly can't stop the plans. One bus route for maybe 2 complaints won't make a difference to the Port Authority board and planners, who probably have never ridden a bus in their lives.
I haven't got much in closing, or even much summarizing I can do, other than saying that on Twitter, TransitGuru and I did go back and forth about funding, and the idea brought forth from TransitGuru of a vehicle mileage tax, whereby every year, as the example provided by bus15237, you pay $1 for every 1,000 miles traveled. That's around $20-30 for me, I easily put that many miles on my car. But that gives me more reason to keep my Ohio plates/license, instead of paying outrageous amounts for the "luxury" of having a personal vehicle. I'm sorry I want to be able to go wherever I want, whenever I want.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Rant time
Well, I'm not usually the type to rant -- oh wait, I am! Hah...
Today, it's about Android. I love my Android phone, the T-Mobile myTouch 3G.
I received the phone as a replacement for my G1, which I had ongoing problems with. It was August 2009, right after the myTouch came out. For the most part, it was a trusty phone. Come November I had quite a few replacements, and after the 1.6 Donut update came through, it had a ton of problems. So I tried out a Cliq (returned it 2 days later due to all kinds of issues with it) and ended up with the BlackBerry Bold 9700. That has been my phone since then. I love my BlackBerry, it's the best phone I've ever had.
But recently, I've had the itch to go back to Android. 2.2 FroYo is now trickling out through the AOSP (Android Open Source Project for those unfamiliar) and most importantly, through CyanogenMod (cyanogenmod.com). It prompted me to finally update my myTouch to the new builds. I've settled with some nightly builds, but my issues are rather persistent.
My first issue is lack of memory. It's long-plagued the myTouch and G1 phones. They have a very small amount of runtime memory (RAM), the original myTouch has 192MB (IIRC) and the updated myTouch 1.2 with a 3.5mm headphone jack, has 256MB I've heard. The biggest problem I've found with the myTouch I have (the original), is that it's fast out of the box, runs great, but when you start loading up the ~230MB of application/phone storage, it slows down. More and more, it begins to crawl. I have around 50 apps installed, and I realize that's a lot. I have 130MB of free space, so I know it's not overloaded.
I've installed Apollo Software's Task Manager. With it, I can close apps much faster than trying to run through the built-in task manager (since it's buried under Settings/Applications/Manage Applications).
So, what am I getting at? Well, prior to upgrading to CM 6.0 (and previously CM 5.0.8), I noticed the phone was slow, and kinda dealt with it for as long as possible. It would make trying to type a text message impossible some days. The BlackBerry was so instant, it made me rather mad going back to the myTouch and not being able to blaze through a text message. I know that I shouldn't expect a miracle, but 2.2 has made it much better trying to text, etc. But why is it that some applications are still running after I close them?
An example (and a main reason for why I'm ranting) is Loopt. I love Loopt, it's really neat. But I try to keep it as an application I only open when I need it. In the settings for the app, I even set it to not update my location unless I have the app open.
Here's the fun part-- I check my Task Manager every 30 minutes or so, and I find Loopt running. Why? Please, tell me, why the hell you feel like the app needs to run anyway? I know it's not trying to update my location, because the GPS indicator doesn't pop up, and like I said, I don't have it set to do anything unless I have it open. Do you REALLY think I want it running in the background all the time? Do you think I'm addicted to it like a FarmVille addict needing their fix on their iOS device??
This is my call out to the Loopt developers; I became a Loopt leader last year, and did my best trying to get my friends to join. I don't have enough friends with compatible phones (Windows Mobile being the most popular platform in use by my friends), and those that do, don't use it all that much. Facebook and Twitter are the main means for people to see "what's up?" and Loopt is just a perk for using in metro areas so you can see where your friends are. Google Latitude and Foursquare have become my main location-based sharing services. I haven't checked into Foursquare in 2 months, but Latitude runs all the time because of how it's nicely integrated into Google Maps. I still keep my Loopt account obviously, and sign in every once in a while. But the fact that it chooses to launch on its own is enough reason for me to uninstall the app permanently, and only use it on either my BlackBerry or iPod touch.
Now onto T-Mobile. I want to know why you guys haven't pushed the FroYo update out yet? Or at least give us an idea. I know that after the G1 Cupcake debacle, and the outcry from customers over the promise of an update that was late coming out. Sure, back then we didn't know how the update process works. Now we've realized that the source code must hit AOSP to be widely available, but even on the Android Project site, it states at the bottom of one of the pages that large OEMs and carriers are privy to the updated source well before the public unveiling. I remember last summer that The Weather Channel was working on a 2.0 compatible version when 1.6 was just starting to roll out. I'm not saying I don't agree with it, because we all get access to the source code eventually, but what irritates me is that these companies should have enough headway before the AOSP code drop to produce the updates for their devices so that when the AOSP code comes out, HTC/Google/T-Mobile (or other combinations like Moto/Google/VZW) can be like "Oh, by the way, these updates have been tested in-house and will be rolling out to customers in a just a few weeks". Sure, they pulled that with the Nexus One, it was a matter of days after Google I/O when the "beta" updates were rolling out. But that's because the N1 is Google's baby, that was their follow-up Dev phone after the ADP1 and Ion.
I would gladly pay for a Nexus One if Google would finally just toss their cards on the table and give the device to T-Mobile for them to sell directly, since they already provide support for it. It was a great phone, and just this past week they got their "last shipment of them". Wonderful, I have no chance of picking up that device. If it would have hit T-Mobile, I could have gotten it on my Even More Plus plan and paid it off over 20 payments. But no, Google didn't even think about doing it. That sucks, seriously. It would have been a great opportunity to leave my myTouch behind.
But I digress... this post has gotten long enough. It's a lot of rambling and ranting about things my closest friends really don't care about. So let me just sum it up real simply:
Google: Work with device manufacturers to get these updates out more timely. HTC promising that FroYo will hit all devices by Christmas isn't timely. By then Gingerbread will be out. Seriously now...
T-Mobile: I love you guys, your network has been awesome for 5 and a half years now, and it only gets better. I just pulled 4 MB/s the other day on a speed test with the myTouch.
And finally, Loopt: Guys, whatever you're doing that causes Loopt to continually launch (and eat up the small amount of memory I have available) even when I tell the app to not open unless I ask it to, please change that and issue an update to Loopt! Not everyone wants their battery drained to nothing by GPS apps.
Good night kids.
Matty
Today, it's about Android. I love my Android phone, the T-Mobile myTouch 3G.
I received the phone as a replacement for my G1, which I had ongoing problems with. It was August 2009, right after the myTouch came out. For the most part, it was a trusty phone. Come November I had quite a few replacements, and after the 1.6 Donut update came through, it had a ton of problems. So I tried out a Cliq (returned it 2 days later due to all kinds of issues with it) and ended up with the BlackBerry Bold 9700. That has been my phone since then. I love my BlackBerry, it's the best phone I've ever had.
But recently, I've had the itch to go back to Android. 2.2 FroYo is now trickling out through the AOSP (Android Open Source Project for those unfamiliar) and most importantly, through CyanogenMod (cyanogenmod.com). It prompted me to finally update my myTouch to the new builds. I've settled with some nightly builds, but my issues are rather persistent.
My first issue is lack of memory. It's long-plagued the myTouch and G1 phones. They have a very small amount of runtime memory (RAM), the original myTouch has 192MB (IIRC) and the updated myTouch 1.2 with a 3.5mm headphone jack, has 256MB I've heard. The biggest problem I've found with the myTouch I have (the original), is that it's fast out of the box, runs great, but when you start loading up the ~230MB of application/phone storage, it slows down. More and more, it begins to crawl. I have around 50 apps installed, and I realize that's a lot. I have 130MB of free space, so I know it's not overloaded.
I've installed Apollo Software's Task Manager. With it, I can close apps much faster than trying to run through the built-in task manager (since it's buried under Settings/Applications/Manage Applications).
So, what am I getting at? Well, prior to upgrading to CM 6.0 (and previously CM 5.0.8), I noticed the phone was slow, and kinda dealt with it for as long as possible. It would make trying to type a text message impossible some days. The BlackBerry was so instant, it made me rather mad going back to the myTouch and not being able to blaze through a text message. I know that I shouldn't expect a miracle, but 2.2 has made it much better trying to text, etc. But why is it that some applications are still running after I close them?
An example (and a main reason for why I'm ranting) is Loopt. I love Loopt, it's really neat. But I try to keep it as an application I only open when I need it. In the settings for the app, I even set it to not update my location unless I have the app open.
Here's the fun part-- I check my Task Manager every 30 minutes or so, and I find Loopt running. Why? Please, tell me, why the hell you feel like the app needs to run anyway? I know it's not trying to update my location, because the GPS indicator doesn't pop up, and like I said, I don't have it set to do anything unless I have it open. Do you REALLY think I want it running in the background all the time? Do you think I'm addicted to it like a FarmVille addict needing their fix on their iOS device??
This is my call out to the Loopt developers; I became a Loopt leader last year, and did my best trying to get my friends to join. I don't have enough friends with compatible phones (Windows Mobile being the most popular platform in use by my friends), and those that do, don't use it all that much. Facebook and Twitter are the main means for people to see "what's up?" and Loopt is just a perk for using in metro areas so you can see where your friends are. Google Latitude and Foursquare have become my main location-based sharing services. I haven't checked into Foursquare in 2 months, but Latitude runs all the time because of how it's nicely integrated into Google Maps. I still keep my Loopt account obviously, and sign in every once in a while. But the fact that it chooses to launch on its own is enough reason for me to uninstall the app permanently, and only use it on either my BlackBerry or iPod touch.
Now onto T-Mobile. I want to know why you guys haven't pushed the FroYo update out yet? Or at least give us an idea. I know that after the G1 Cupcake debacle, and the outcry from customers over the promise of an update that was late coming out. Sure, back then we didn't know how the update process works. Now we've realized that the source code must hit AOSP to be widely available, but even on the Android Project site, it states at the bottom of one of the pages that large OEMs and carriers are privy to the updated source well before the public unveiling. I remember last summer that The Weather Channel was working on a 2.0 compatible version when 1.6 was just starting to roll out. I'm not saying I don't agree with it, because we all get access to the source code eventually, but what irritates me is that these companies should have enough headway before the AOSP code drop to produce the updates for their devices so that when the AOSP code comes out, HTC/Google/T-Mobile (or other combinations like Moto/Google/VZW) can be like "Oh, by the way, these updates have been tested in-house and will be rolling out to customers in a just a few weeks". Sure, they pulled that with the Nexus One, it was a matter of days after Google I/O when the "beta" updates were rolling out. But that's because the N1 is Google's baby, that was their follow-up Dev phone after the ADP1 and Ion.
I would gladly pay for a Nexus One if Google would finally just toss their cards on the table and give the device to T-Mobile for them to sell directly, since they already provide support for it. It was a great phone, and just this past week they got their "last shipment of them". Wonderful, I have no chance of picking up that device. If it would have hit T-Mobile, I could have gotten it on my Even More Plus plan and paid it off over 20 payments. But no, Google didn't even think about doing it. That sucks, seriously. It would have been a great opportunity to leave my myTouch behind.
But I digress... this post has gotten long enough. It's a lot of rambling and ranting about things my closest friends really don't care about. So let me just sum it up real simply:
Google: Work with device manufacturers to get these updates out more timely. HTC promising that FroYo will hit all devices by Christmas isn't timely. By then Gingerbread will be out. Seriously now...
T-Mobile: I love you guys, your network has been awesome for 5 and a half years now, and it only gets better. I just pulled 4 MB/s the other day on a speed test with the myTouch.
And finally, Loopt: Guys, whatever you're doing that causes Loopt to continually launch (and eat up the small amount of memory I have available) even when I tell the app to not open unless I ask it to, please change that and issue an update to Loopt! Not everyone wants their battery drained to nothing by GPS apps.
Good night kids.
Matty
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Port Authority Gripes
I haven't written in a while. Sorry...
Today is rant time.
My car died back in March, for those that are close to me that already knew, I'm sorry. Crankshaft had a catastrophic failure, followed by the piston rod shooting through my engine during afternoon rush hour between the Campbell's Run and PA-60 exits on the parkway west (that's Pittsburghese for I-376 on the west side of Pittsburgh).
So, in the process I was forced to withdraw from classes at Robert Morris University, and my partner, Michael, must now ride a bus to and from work (Robert Morris) which is a 34 mile journey. Might I add that the Port Authority of Allegheny County hasn't made that a very easy task in the last few months.
See, they hired some outside consultants (read: people from God only knows where, who are unfamiliar with the city of Pittsburgh and our ridership patterns) to try and make Pittsburgh's bus system more streamlined (read: cost-efficient) and serve the people better (read: live close to the city or suffer). In this process, the original 2-bus plan to get to/from work using the 56C and 28K has been completely removed. The 56C turned into the 56 back on June 13th. Complaints? None at all, I actually am happy with the fact they made the route take less side-treks. 28K, on the other hand, has become the G3, which now runs inbound only in the morning and outbound only in the afternoon. Lovely, now he (and myself as well) must ride any of a combination of buses, depending on the time of day. Typical travel time? 3 and a half hours, give or take. The alternate route was the 56C to the 28X (downtown) then the 25A to Robert Morris. The 28X runs on a very timely schedule, but as of April's changes, it no longer would stop in Robinson (G2 picked up that stop, but doesn't run nearly as often, with the exception of morning and evening rush hours).
So, the bus system now has become a mess. To make matters worse, they are complaining of a deficit of 55 million dollars. Okay, well that's a shame, I'm sorry to hear that. But at $2.75 for a 2-zone fare, it's not a cheap option for some people. That is expected to change to $6-7 if the Port Authority can't recover from the projected deficit in next year's budget. Come again? $6-7 just to ride a bus into town? Are you INSANE?! Punish those of us outside the city to make up for the fact that you guys have poor planning and ridership?
I have watched the local buses here in Glassport. We have ONE route, formerly the 55M, now the 55. Not a lot of people ride it, and I understand why, it's a pain to have a route that only goes to McKeesport or West Mifflin (formerly stopped at the Waterfront). They run a 40-some foot long Gillig low-floor bus on that route. Occasionally they send out an antique '96 NovaBus (with no A/C) on the route. There is NO need for that big of a bus on the route! A short commuter bus (like the 60, 61, 62 routes that run in the hills behind Glassport) would be more appropriate. Sure, they're not a comfortable ride, but I'd imagine they are cheaper to run and maintain.
Then there's the issue of student discounts. University of Pittsburgh and Carnegie Mellon University students get to ride "free". Okay, well it's not necessarily free, it's basically (from my understanding) a year-long subscription to bus passes, with an endorsement placed on the student ID. Lovely; for them. Pittsburgh has multiple universities, not just the big ones or the ones in Oakland (as I'm sure there are others with the option to ride free). Robert Morris University has a main campus in Moon Township, and their former main campus in downtown Pittsburgh. As an RMU student, I get NOTHING when it comes to a discount. Oh, I'm sorry, after 7pm weekdays, all day on weekends, I can ride a bus ONE ZONE for $1. You're kidding, right? I'm a commuter student. I don't live on campus. Punish me for not being able to drive to school? I understand that RMU would have to make a contract with Port Authority and pay upwards of $10 million a year for its students to have an endorsement, but RMU is a private university, they have a tight budget to begin with, and most students don't leave campus.
Now, the good news was that RMU provided a free shuttle between the 2 campuses. So that required one bus to downtown, then jump on the RMU shuttle. Perfect! Well, until they announced they are closing and selling the downtown building. There goes that free shuttle. So, I'm expected to pay full-fare to get to/from school on a weekday if it's before 7pm. After 7, I get a lowly $1 off my regular fare, since the only one-zone ride I take is the 25A from RMU to Robinson. Regular back/forth bus fare is $12.50. You have to be kidding me.
I'll admit it now, I just show every driver my ID at all times. Some don't care and count me as a student of the University of Pitt. Others let me put the dollar in. And the ones that let me put that one lonely dollar in, don't care that it's limited to one zone. In fact, a few of the drivers I see on a regular basis and if they do know about it, by now they should have said something. Then there's the die-hard rule-followers who force me to pay full fare. Yeah, I get it, I'm not following the rules if I don't. But seriously, I have no job, I receive food stamps, and finding a job is impossible! At least let someone with an EBT card ride at half fare or something!
Speaking of food stamps and EBT cards, the welfare office on this side of Pittsburgh has no limit on how long a person can receive stamps. ABAWD exempt status, for those familiar with the term, lifts all restrictions on how long an individual can receive stamps. Basically, federal law states that an Able Bodied Adult Without Dependents (ABAWD) can receive food stamps for 3 months in a 3 year time-frame. However, living in the Monongahela River Valley, we have nothing in the line of work, so we are ABAWD exempt (back in New Philadelphia, Tuscarawas County was ABAWD exempt also).
In the 80's the boro of Glassport had around 8000 people residing here. In the year 2000, that number had cut in half to 4000. I'm anxious to find out the results of the 2010 census. 2000 residents? I'm one of them. I may not have chose Glassport, because the house was cheap, but I figured it would suffice, as it's close enough without being too close, and far enough without being too far. At this point I almost feel like I'm in a worse spot than in New Philadelphia, Ohio. At least there I could get to Wal-Mart in 15 minutes, or had the option of going to the mall in a 15 minute walk. Here, both of those are so far a bus must be used to get to them.
Anyway, I've encountered quite a few problems while job-hunting here. As the economy began to rebound (or did it?), I had enrolled for spring semester at RMU. I felt that my time would be best used working on classwork, not a 9-to-5 causing my head to spin with all the coursework. Then, come March, my car dies. I've applied for jobs at the nearest fast-food restaurants that I can get access to. They ask me "how would you be getting to work?" or "do you have reliable transportation?". My answer has always been honest (since honesty is the best policy, afterall). I take Port Authority buses. Do you have ANY clue how many places don't want to hire someone because they take the transit system?! Last night I realized why, and sadly it will doom me to never have a job so long as I don't have my own vehicle.
Michael and I were at RMU, he was out at 6:10p from work, the 25A toward Robinson was due at 6:15p. We waited. And waited. And waited, until it was 6:40 and I was calling the Port Authority customer service line. 15 minutes on hold, and I finally got someone.
"Well, I don't see a report of a bus broken down, let me ask traffic what happened."
8 minutes on hold.
"Okay, the bus didn't have functioning A/C, so there was no bus on the route."
EXCUSE ME?! I don't care if it doesn't have A/C, put the darned thing on the route, I want to get home, not wait on a bus! As Michael said to me last night-- "What if I was heading to work? Am I to call and say the bus just didn't come? I'd be fired in a heartbeat!" And he's right.
We took the next 25A to Coraopolis (at 7:00 or so), and then walked to Neville Island to wait for the 21 inbound (not til 7:54). A hybrid bus rolled up, a beautiful, quiet, brand-spankin-new bus. Not a soul on board but the driver. Are you kidding me? I chatted with her, mentioning our wonderful luck with buses. She said that she had just come from lunch and didn't hear of any buses not going out due to A/C issues. The only problem was not enough buses for drivers to run the routes.
Not. Enough. Buses.
I've had it. The Port Authority of Allegheny County has done themselves in. For months I've heard driver after driver after driver complain about Dan Onoroto and the higher-ups (who have neither drove nor rode the buses) preparing the company to be destroyed. It will be split into many private companies and the fares will increase while service will be cut from different parts of the county.
Um. I get it, Port Authority was created in the 50's/60's by buying up over 38 private transit companies in Allegheny county, who wants go back to that. But the increase in fares/decrease in service is ALREADY HAPPENING. So really, what is there to lose?
I would save so, SO much money buying a cheap car back home in Ohio (to avoid the stupid inspections over here) and having the freedom to go where I want, when I want, all over again.
This city has slowly become my enemy. I dreamt of moving to Pittsburgh many years ago as a student in high school back in Youngstown, Ohio. I thought it was the most beautiful, scenic city. It still is, I was bewildered looking at the buildings downtown last night while waiting 45 minutes for the next 56 outbound. But the love-affair has worn off. From the local government to the transit, it's a shamble. What a shame to see all of this go to waste. In many ways, I hope that the Port Authority does go under. Maybe someone else can make things more accessible and cheaper. Hell, bring back the commuter line through McKeesport, it was only 30-some years ago that it was ripped out. I'm not saying the street cars should come back, but GOOD LORD, spend hundreds of millions of dollars on a TUNNEL under the Allegheny River so that people can go to the north shore and do one of 4 things: See the Steelers/Panthers, see the Pirates (that's a joke), visit the casino, or visit the Science Center. Do you know which of those I'd do? MAYBE the Science Center. I haven't been there in 15 years, I'm probably due, but come on-- That was a huge waste of money that could have been spent putting light rail lines back down the Monongahela River to get transit back out here where it's clearly needed, not dig a tunnel because it will "attract more people to the north shore". Sure it'll attract more people, but I bet that running a LR line out here would have had a much higher daily ridership, and some bus routes could be sacrificed to let the rails take up the slack.
But I'm not running the company, am I? Nope. I'd rather not be. I'd work in their IT department, that's my bread and butter. The only reason for me to attend RMU is so I could get the paper (degree) saying I know what I'm talking about with computers. I spend every waking minute with a computer or smartphone in hand. Even on the buses! I have a passion for computers, but I won't make any money on it living in our house out here in Glassport. At least not without a vehicle.
So, on those words I say thanks for listening.
OH, and before I hear it about bus passes and tickets, I must point out that weekly passes are currently $27.50 and monthly are over $100. Even Michael said he would be better off putting gas in a hybrid car for a month and having no restrictions on when and where we can go places. I just want to get out of the county for a day, and I can't even do THAT!
Fin.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Well I will admit I didn't hold true and keep posting on here or myspace. In fact I've just been enjoying the weather with trips to Sandcastle and out of state. Oh well. This is also my first attempt at a mobile blog post. All of my computers are dead so my Google Android phone is the only thing I have. If this pans out, I'll try to post more often.Signing off for now,
Matt
Matt
Monday, April 20, 2009
My Aunt Stacey
Okay I’m gonna be brief, I know I said in my first post I’d try to post often, but obviously THAT won’t be happening. Ugh. Not like anyone reads this. But here’s an email my aunt Tammy just sent me in regards to my aunt Stacey… On the left, my aunt Stacey, on the right, my aunt Tammy.
Dear family and friends,
I am writing this email with GREAT sadness. My best friend, my sister Stacey Jones, had a lung collapse about three weeks ago. She has had exploratory surgery and it has been discovered that she has a cancerous tumor in her upper lobe of the left lung. She will be having her lung removed this coming week. Stacey is an amazing person, 25 years ago she was a St. Jude’s child at the age of 15 and was the only one in 1984 to beat a horrible bone cancer and have her leg amputated. She is an inspiration to all and a hero to me. She works Partylite at night and is an Electrical Engineer in the day. She only has short term disability and her recovery will be long since they will be removing her lung. She is single and has a child in college … She will be feeling this not only physically but also financially and emotionally. I have put together the attached fundraiser to help her through these tough times. If you could PLEASE pass it around to collect orders and/or order something yourself, your efforts and generosity are GREATLY appreciated. 50% profit will be raised and this matter is extremely urgent as we are trying to have this fundraiser finalized this Friday, April 24th so that Stacey doesn’t need any other worries on her plate except to fight hard and heal quickly.
Thanks in advance for your kindness. Please let me know if you have any questions.
Warm thoughts to you and your family,
Tammy
Now, I have the form for any orders you may want, please send me a Tweet via twitter (twitter.com/flamingblue8z), or email, which I’m not sure I want to directly post on here in case of bots. But it’s my username from here, at GMAIL dot COM. Please, any help is still help!
Thanks for your time.
Mah-tee
Monday, April 6, 2009
And the saga continues (or begins)...
Welcome! You've ended up here for one reason or another. Why is that? Do YOU know? Followed a link I posted? Went through the random blog link? Let me know. I'm new to blogging (sorta), at least a more "professional" style blog. I've MySpace'd (2005-now), LiveJournal'd(?-2005), and even OpenDiary'd WAY back in 2001. So now, I'm moving up to Blogger. Mainly because I need to get things out every now and then, and this is the way to do it. Plus, I'm migrating a lot of things to Google's many wonderful services. I'm gonna try to keep this short this time, mainly cause I'm listening to podcasts, but I will probably post in here a few times a week. We'll see. Let me know what you think, go back (if you dare!) and find my blog on these sites... MySpace, naturally, has the most recent posts.
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